I want to go out on a limb with you and share what I think is a truth in your relationship…
I know there are ALL types of restaurant relationships reading this… chef with chef, owner with bartender, server with chef, chef with 9-5′r, chef with stay at home mom, etc…
I say what I’m about to say knowing ALL that.
Your STRENGTH is what attracted your restaurant man/woman to you.
Hopefully you’re thinking “duh.. I already knew that.” *If so.. GOOD FOR YOU.*
But maybe you’re not.
Yup. YOUR strength.
First let’s share what STRENGTH really means, shall we?
‘The quality or state of being strong, moral power, firmness, COURAGE.”
Having STRENGTH, TRUE STRENGTH comes from INSIDE.
AN INVISIBLE FORCE.
Mind if I share with you a part of my FAVORITE poem? This poem was read at my wedding.. It encapsulates STRENGTH to me, in so many ways.
by Oriah Mountain Dreamer
“… It doesn’t interest me
if the story you are telling me
I want to know if you can dissapoint another
to be true to yourself.
If you can bear
the accusation of betrayal
and not betray your soul.
It doesn’t interest me
who you know
or how you came to be here.
I want to know if you will stand in the centre of the fire
and not shrink back.
I want to know
if you can be alone
with yourself and if
you truly like
the company you keep
in the empty moments.”
THAT is what I predict your restaurant man/woman saw in YOU.
The strength to do what you have to do… to get “it” done. Whatever that is…
Cause let’s face it… they must KNOW, deep inside them that it’s going to take a special man/woman to face the challenges of this sort of relationship.
It doesn’t take long to bear witness to the strength of fortitude and conviction that your other half devotes his life to, day in and day out, at the restaurant.
You know it’s not easy, doing what they do. It’s why you’re their Number One Fan. You see them when their exhausted yet still giving their all.
You VALUE their strength. But the rub is…
They value your STRENGTH too.
I GUARANTEE you, that somewhere inside him or her, they KNEW, probably from the beginning, that they were going to need someone with that SAME STRENGTH to help them get thru this. They saw something in YOU that told them you’d do whatever it took. Most likely it wasn’t some outward sign of strength but an inner drive within you that told them that you had ‘it’ too.
YOU are STRONG. *ya hear me?
It’s NOT just your chef/ server/bartender/GM/ Sommelier, etc… who is the strong one!
It’s WHO YOU ARE… and it’s time you began to LIVE from that knowing.
Strength comes in ALL forms. Such as being the one who…
- is the DRIVING force to both herself and those in her circle. Knows what he/she wants for her life and is going to do whatever it takes to make that happen, and EVERYONE around her/him knows it.
- May be quiet, but has the unyielding determination to make their dreams come true, whether that’s to be the best mother you can be, or to find ACHIEVEMENT in your career, just as your restaurant man/woman has.
- works hard to continually find the right ingredients (Sacred time, time alone,etc) that brings BALANCE to the relationship.
Since the restaurant industry, I’ve noticed (remember, I’m on the outside), is very much family oriented. Most likely they were looking for someone with the same sense of LOYALTY. You know, someone who will stay late to get past the late nite push?
Yea… most likely they see that SAME sense of LOYALTY in YOU.
Here’s the downside…
ARE YOU LISTENING, BECAUSE THIS IS IMPORTANT!
Because you ARE strong… because you will do whatever it takes… JUST like your restaurant man/woman does at work…
It can become SO EASY to take that for granted.
And not intentionally either. *okay, sometimes it happens.. but I’m not talking about that right now.*
Because we’re strong.. we can CARRY a lot. We know they work hard and so we take that into consideration… then we make adjustments to CARRY MORE AND MORE…
then they start handing us their stuff to carry, without even considering how much we’re already carrying.
**imagine your hands filled with ‘stuff’***
We do this because we’re STRONG. Sometimes we think we’re SO strong that we take on more than we can handle.
We don’t yell “UNCLE” when it becomes too much because we see that they do whatever it takes at work… why can’t we do the same at home…
And.. after a while of straining to carry everything in his, yours, possibly in your childrens life… it ends up causing… *say it with me*
Yup. Resentment rears it’s ugly head every time.
We learn to say “UNCLE!” sooner. (And mean it.)
Their not dumb. They most likely know that you are carrying a lot.
But since you’re not shouting uncle and then following up with putting the things down you cannot carry – How are they to really know you’ve hit your tipping point?
At work they probably are carrying as many things as you are, and don’t even tell you.
Enough about that. Bottom line…
They know you are as strong as they are.
(they just might not share it with you like I am with you here.)
And that.. my AMAZING Other Halves.. is why a thriving restaurant relationship VALUES STRENGTH.
My LAST installment about VALUES is up this Sunday. If you like what you are reading, join me and a handful of your fellow Other Halves for a FREE CALL next Thursday March 8th at 8pm EST where we’re going to discuss what we’ve talked about here, as well as what other possible VALUES you might share. (BONUS: On the day of the call, I’m going to send you a list of 100 other values that you and your restaurant man/woman could have as your Top 5)