If Married to a Chef is the vehicle…Permission Granted Coaching is the one holding onto the wheel! Here is some more information about the driver of this car, and her lofty goal to connect with the entire world, to liberate everyone she sees by resonating with a deep understanding of where your at, creating a sense of home base, and the almost obsessive plight to help you stop over thinking EVERYTHING, and give yourself permission to live your life; all while keeping our eyes (and our hearts) focused on the journey (not the destination) as the ultimate goal!
Why Permission Granted Coaching?
As a Certified Life Coach, a stirring from deep inside began to form as my goal of wanting to partner with Significant Others in the Restaurant Industry started to solidify. It became apparent that there was a common thread strewn between most of us, connecting us in a larger way than I originally thought. Along with my original desire to connect with other Significant Others, assisting in the understanding of what takes to be with someone in the restaurant industry, helping other halves understand the VALUE their relationships bring to their lives, while acknowledging all the ways in which it takes a strong and independent person to see and benefit from what this relationship has to offer. Something else was making itself known.
It was becoming clear, the reason that most of us feel lost, and unheard is somewhere along the way, we lost the know how to give ourselves permission to do the things we wanted to do with our lives or feel the way we feel. These unconscious and unwritten messages of who we “should” be and what we “should” be doing somehow made it’s way to the surface and in doing so, we lost the connection to our gut, that inner voice which is ALWAYS calling out to us. Sure, we would be happy giving everyone ELSE permission to do what they want, but when it comes to ourselves… we really do not even know how. How true does that ring for you?
okay yea, that’s me….
Add on top of that, the generations and generations of passed on ‘should’ messages and it becomes clear what we’re dealing with. It’s like this picture here, our inner voice is beneath all these layers of past generations of unwritten messages saying what we should or shouldn’t be doing. Oh, our gut still tries to talk to us, giving us that ‘ugh’ feeling in our stomachs when we’re CLEARLY not listening… but we don’t know what that feeling is really, so we fear it and it then becomes an obstacle, in the way of maneuvering within the world of what we ‘should’ be doing.
We try to cover up that gut feeling with external things that never quite work. (okay, maybe temporarily a new pair of shoes will make it all feel better… but inevitably, it never lasts. Darn it.) Things like relationships that do not bring out the BEST in us, unhealthy habits, and an overall – walking around on auto pilot, wondering if we JUST did X, Y, and Z.. that something would magically (And I mean MAGICALLY) change for the better.
No wonder we have such a hard time feeling FREE. Just look at how much weight we’ve put on ourselves to be what we think we ‘should’ be. Let’s give ourselves a moment to recognize what we’re up against.
No wonder why I’m always exhausted!
Exactly. What would happen if we gave your inner voice permission to speak? What do you think it would say? Imagine your gut was standing on stage, at a podium and YOU were the only one in the audience (not your mother or your husband or your boss), what would it say to you?
For just a moment, pretend that all the things that concern you were taken care of (money, security,etc), ask yourself “If I were to listen to my gut right now, it would be telling me ___________________. (do yourself a favor and write that down)
Let me be clear, in NO way am I saying this is a quick fix. Just LOOK at that wall that we have to chip away at. If we were to blow a hole in this wall, it would take many hands and probably a few pieces of equipment to get it done, so the first step is realizing that it’s a PROCESS. It takes vigilance and persistence to get this job done. There will be successes and also, days when the sun is too hot and you don’t feel like doing the work. It’s alright. That’s PART of the process!
How would it feel to give yourself permission to say ‘Not today, thanks!’?
When I say “Give yourself permission” to my clients and my peers, they look at me as if I was asking them to answer a complicated algebraic equation. In that uncomfortable moment, it is as if they were saying, “What does it mean to give myself permission.. I mean, I don’t want to be selfish.” or that fear rises of “What will they think if I actually do this” and THAT, is also a part of the chipping away process. Challenging where those messages actually came from. Put on your hard hat because if your interested, you have just become an excavator.
And so it is…the limiting belief that in giving ourselves permission (also called “It’s OKAY to…”, “I’m just gonna do it”,etc.) means we are somehow selfish, that we are being irresponsible, and not deserving of the thing we truly want. As this fact became clearer in my experience of what we all struggle with (yep, including me!), it broadened my horizon to those whom I knew I could assist. And in doing that, Permission Granted Coaching was created.
The undercurrent of my coaching philosophy is to ask you how you can give yourself permission to reconnect with your gut and when you are comfortable trusting it, is when you ACT from it. As your partner, I dig in with you to assist in tearing down that wall, one boulder at a time.
Who are your clients exactly?
Great question. Currently they are women (although I look forward to an opportunity to partner with the male species!) who are either (1) somehow connected to someone in the restaurant industry, wanting to understand ‘damn it, why is this so HARD!’ or (2) someone who is DONE feeling like they have ALL these goals and aspirations but NO IDEA why they cannot get out of their heads long enough to MOVE! Life can be scary, and all of us have experienced moments when we’re feeling out of control. Whatever situation (including trauma in any form) that caused that feeling, I have found, creates a propensity to feel stuck in our heads, safe in this frozen state where we cling onto predictability and habit, but with enough information of how common this is, to understand how we can easily become triggered…we empower ourselves to take that first step forward. To reanimate from our frozen state into living our lives, TODAY. Isn’t that what all of us want, really, to be free from yesterdays fears in order to fully be present NOW.
How are you different from other “life coaches”?
Everyone (and I mean everyone) has something to offer. Different strokes for different folks, and all. I will talk about what I feel I have to offer. The philosophy of the coaching program I attended, focuses on the root, or the CORE of what’s causing our discomfort. Like a weed, we can pull it from the surface, but we know it’s just going to grow back. Digging at a splinter in your finger isn’t always the most comfortable of experiences, but doesn’t it feel better when it’s no longer causing you pain? Same thing working with me, once we take in the landscape of what’s causing you to feel off, together, we hold our noses and dive within. (I stress on us doing this together.. you’re not alone) MY role, is solely to keep YOUR goal in mind and to ask the right questions so you can get to that inner answer that lurks beneath the surface. In no way am I telling you what to do, to think, or how to live. YOU have the answers inside, and my role is to be by your side while you find out where those answers are.
*In order for you to see some real results, I will need to ask that you work with me for a few months, so we can start that process of chipping away at that wall of messages and limiting beliefs. *Takes time to get the right equipment in place! IF, at the end of that time period, you feel like I’m not the right person for you, or I feel like maybe you’d benefit from someone who works differently, I have a SLEW (and I mean a SLEW) of other coaches that I can refer you to!
okay, what is expected of me?
The only requirement I ask of you is that you feel really READY to dive in.
Yep, that’s it. You will know, pretty easily, if you’re ready. That small voice within you that says “There HAS to be some reason why I feel stuck/don’t understand what’s really happening!” If you really want to understand, then you’re ready. There will be times when you hit on something that scares you, makes you sad or fuming MAD, or… makes you want to run away. If you don’t run away (or want to slap me), then your ready. (and again, I will be with you, you are not alone, my lovely.)
There will be tasks that we will set together, during each session, that will help you move forward, at a pace that YOU feel comfortable taking, -sometimes it will be creating something, making a list, or taking another step in the process between sessions. Being REALLY READY means you’ll want to take on these tasks, and report back to me how it felt to accomplish it. (there’s NO judging here.. I’m here to help YOU) If you don’t feel like taking on these tasks, it might tell us that you might not quite be ready, and we’ll then discuss (together) where we go from there.
Okay… I’m ready. oh wait, how much is this going to cost me?
Depends on how often you want to work together. (oh yea, we’ll be doing this on the phone at a time that works for both of us). *If you’re in the DC/VA area, we can perhaps work out a time to meet in person! Bonus! Fill out the form below, I will send you my 2011 pricing, as well as scheduling an intro session to see if I’m the right fit for you and well, if you for me, then we’ll work out the particulars (monthly cost/payment details/etc…) and AWAY we go…
I can say with a strong, inner knowing, that if you are ready to dive in… the coaching process of getting to the core, will do the work. The reason I decided to become a Coach is my belief that the answers to the questions and confusing moments of our lives lie within us. Sure, as a fellow wife of a chef, I know how frustrating and confusing it can be sometimes (and sometimes how exciting it is too!). I’d be happy to share with you my experiences, but what works (or doesn’t) for me, might not work for you. Together, we can discover ways your own relationship is already working, and with greater awareness, how we can reduce the ways in which it is not. I don’t have a magic wand (don’t I wish!). It takes a gentle loving persistance to face our fears in order to move forward. How much easier (and not as scary) would it be to do just that, when you have someone whose sole purpose is to be there with you, every step of the way. At our core, we are all much more similar than different, and it brings me joy to use the equipment I have acquired, to partner with you on your journey.